I worked as a stripper for a few days once. I didn’t talk much about it, as it just kinda happened, I learned some major lessons, and then it was done. At the time it seemed like a perfect fit for my free-spirited nature (Sun opposite Uranus for your fellow astro geeks) and pull towards the taboo (Moon-Venus opposite Saturn and Pluto). Though mostly I just enjoyed not wearing pants to work.
When I started the job I really believed I could just be myself and allow love to flow through me and men would feel adored and special. However, I quickly realized these men didn’t want connection, they wanted to avoid it through fantasy. The men who came to the club were mostly lonely and afraid of the intimacy they truly desire. The fantasy version is safer, it won’t ask a man to share his sadness or deepest fears. It won’t get angry or be moody or ask anything of him.
As I would slide on my thigh highs and tease my hair, I could feel myself playing the part I assumed they wanted me to play. As I danced I was only an illusion and a dream girl named “Heidi” who was the cold, empty, yet mysterious and interesting version of myself. The version these men seemed to want more than my warm, silly, and kind self.
I realized quickly, four shifts to be exact, that it wasn’t just the men who were hiding. This version was safer for me as well. By playing a role, I can avoid intimacy and maintain distance, not being messy or showing any parts of myself that might be undesirable--my anger, insecurity, or quirkiness. I could cover over my desire for closeness with hiding and mystery, preferring the power associated with eroticism to intimacy and connection.
“Others can only offer you the depth of intimacy that they have with themselves.”-Robert Ohotto
In astrology this sort of behavior could be attributed to Venus and Pluto in relationship to each other or Venus in Scorpio (it just moved into Scorpio today). While Venus represents our femininity and sensuality, Pluto is the mysterious and shadow-like quality of experience. Like all planets, there is a full spectrum of expression that may show up with either. In this case the less elevated and unintegrated qualities of Pluto/Scorpio were running the show.
Pluto is our power and in its shadow realm it is secretive, prefers fantasy to reality, jealous, and has a deep fear of being seen. Pluto wants power and the ultimate power, in fact being raw vulnerability instead of the power dynamics it resorts to when it is unconscious.
“The most beautiful kind of naked is vulnerability.” – Simi Fromen
Pluto-Venus is the dark heart, the shadow sides of relating with jealousy, manipulation, power struggles, etc. Here are some other more “negative” expressions of this combo:
• Obsessed or infatuated with love
• Jealousy and wanting to own someone
• Power dynamics such as guilt for control in a relationship
• Escape from life/relationships through fantasy
• Secret affairs or relationships
To me, Venus and Pluto together in both their illumined states is the most perfect love. When you combine the Earthly depth of Pluto with the heart-centered Venus, the combo goes beyond superficial love into the depth of intimacy we all crave. It asks us to surrender to love itself as our means of a spiritual practice. Here are some more “positive” expressions of these to planets together:
• Transcendental sexuality
• Fated relationships
• Rebirth and transformation through relationships
• Channeling emotional intensity into art/creative expression
• Vulnerability and depth of connection
In this way Venus-Pluto in our charts or in synastry is about the cauldron of transformation that takes place in relating. I don’t know what is sexier than that, using raw intimacy to evolve and become more myself. Pluto and Venus wants a love that goes up in flames, it is about rebirth and taking out the trash on what doesn’t serve us in relating.
“They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered.”-F. Scott Fitzgerald
I once told a man I wanted to steal his soul. The moment the words came out of my mouth I regretted it and laughed about it. But, the scary thing is that I wasn’t joking. I love with an intensity that scares me. I know love transforms me and so I cannot help but want to dive in full force. I cannot help that I want to dig deep, looking for treasure. I want to peer into someone’s soul and create an intimacy we can’t recover from (thank you Mr. Fitzgerald).
This man’s own Venus-Pluto of course terrified by this notion, simultaneously craving the intimacy I can offer while terrified of it at the same time. He believed I was “too much” was afraid of his own shadow. This is another trap of Venus-Pluto, projecting our shadow (Pluto) onto others (Venus). Through him I learned the intimacy I really need…the willingness to be uncomfortable and shed the layers of ego revealing more of myself.
“You will be too much for people…those aren’t your people.”-Anonymous from Instagram
I realize I’m no longer afraid of intimacy and being seen. I found my power with stripping, not the sexual power of freedom, but the remembrance that power and safety are found in the vulnerability. My Venus-Pluto still craves mystery and eroticism, and I may still be manipulative or hide things, but it strives to move away from fantasy and into an eroticism that includes connection.
And a poem I wrote about Venus/Pluto connection:
When Venus Meets Pluto
Open me all the way
Penetrate my raw being
Turn me inside out
Destroy me if you must
I’m tired of being afraid