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As an self-identified lover and a Taurus, I spend a lot of time talking and thinking about love. While our modern society often places more emphasis on romantic or erotic love, I see all as equally important and feeding and nurturing each other. As I fall in love many times a day, it may not be the same way. We all have different ways of loving based on the object of our affection and what aspect of us is evoked. Of course many relationships are a combination of several and may change and shift with time.
In 1973 psychologist John Lee developed a theory of six styles of loving and types of love based on Greek ideas of love, though I think he was missing a few...so I added my own* and combined it with the Greek ideas. Yes, I decided I could make up types of love. Of course I did my astrology duties and integrated Lee's theory with the planetary archetypes because how else am I supposed to understand them otherwise?;)
1. Philautia (Sun) :: While modern-day version could be associated with self-esteem or perhaps a healthy (or unhealthy) version of ego or sense of self. A healthy version of this allows us to love others more securely with confidence.
2. Genea (Moon)* :: I see this as a love or sense of duty from children and parents as well as ancestral lineage. A bond that transcends time as well as honors those before. It is a sense of tribal and familial love that combines Agape and Storge, it may be based on attachment needs and not necessarily a sense of connection. Perhaps this is a love between roommates or others who live together.
3. Sapio (Mercury)* :: I equate this with an intellectual muse of sorts, it is connection based on intellectual inspiration and stimulation. Similar to a Geisha in some way with witty banter and conversation.
4. Eros (Venus) :: The reason for the Valentine's Day season, a romantic and passionate connection based on attraction physically and emotionally. It is a sense of devotion and enchantment as well as flirting. A love based on chemistry or love at first sight that can evolve into Mania, Pragma, or remain a deeply bonded pair.
5. Ludus (Mars) :: This style of loving would be associated with playfulness, excitement, and conquest, though lacking consistency or commitment. It desires fun and light-heartedness and does well with short-term relating. Relationships with this type are casual and transitory often with game-playing. This speaks to me as the entire online dating world in a nutshell…a Martian nutshell. (There is a pun in there I couldn’t quite access.)
6. Philia/Storge (Jupiter) :: Based on attachment and not necessarily passion, it grows out of friendship. Often focused on shared interests or a sense of being very similar. I feel this way for most of my friends (men and women), it is often smooth and very comfortable with a feeling of intimacy and connection. I would consider closely associated with companionate love and feelings of heart opening, warmth, and expansion.
7. Pragma (Saturn) :: Just as it sounds, this pragmatic love orients to a more business-like arrangement or partnership based on mutual benefit and practicality. It may be unromantic by nature, though may relate to having similar goals such as having a family. Sometimes Pragma love is a considered a combination of Ludus and Storge and has a very realistic approach to the relationship.
8. Agape (Neptune) :: While many of us yearn for unconditional, altruistic love…few of us find it. This is to me the channeling of spiritual union with another as well as the collective everyone. It’s shadow side could lean towards martyrdom or co-dependence, though it comes from the love parent for child or God/Universe/Source to us. It isn’t of this world, only beyond and requires a patience and servitude that few evoke. It may be categorized by sacrifice and puts us in touch with our own godliness or deep compassion.
9. Mania (Pluto) :: Often described as a combination of Eros and Ludus, it can be characterized by obsessive tendencies and jealousy. The strong need for the relationship often result in dramatic rollercoaster to keep the lover or develop into manipulation or abusive tendencies.
10. Astros (Uranus)* :: I wanted a version of love that describes the enchantment I feel not just with Earth community, but of creation itself. It is the love no specific person or group of people, similar to Agape. Though this love has an electricity and desire for awakening and evolution versus a union.
Not sure if this even makes sense, but I do think the Greeks needed an upgrade and I'm happy to use the sky as a model.;)
Interested in other love theories? Of course, you are. I also did an astrological update on Sternberg's Triangular Theory of love, read it here.