Emotional

Attunement 

“The fullest expression of an emotion is the funeral pyre of that emotion.” ~Stan Grof

In astrology, the moon represents many aspects of our being such as the unconscious, our emotional field and needs, nourishment and embodiment, our home, and often the way we were mothered or cared for. 

 

For this reason, the full moon is often when unconscious patterns around attachment wounds and other emotions come up the most. Just like in our natal charts, the moon has a mystery and beauty separate and of equal importance of the sun. It represents our inner world as opposed to the outer, personality-based aspect of the sun. Knowing about your natal moon offers deep insight into your psyche, soul, and emotional needs, while knowing the full moon timing helps us prepare a bit for any ripe emotions to make their way to the surface.

 

The full moon is often when unconscious patterns around attachment and self-soothing come up the most. As someone who spent most of my life as an emotional avoider, emotional attunement and self-parenting have become my major practices for self-care.  When the moon is at its peak, is an ideal time to focus on feeling what needs to be felt instead of self-abandoning.

 

Many of us didn't grow up with caretakers who were responsive and attuned to our needs or emotions. These differing responses culminate in various attachment styles that become the building blocks of how we build relationships, cultivate intimacy with ourselves and others, and emotional attune to ourselves and others. In psychology, the term "emotional attunement" refers to our ability to be present with someone else's experience and our own.

 

Psychotherapist R. G. Erskine defines it as "...going beyond empathy to create a two-person experience of unbroken feeling connectedness by providing a reciprocal effect and/or resonating response."  

 

Often we learn at an early age to split our inner world and how we feel (Moon) with what we express outwardly (Sun). This splitting creates myriad issues that can include confusion about what one wants, detachment from emotions and body, and self-abandonment.

 

Here are some ways disassociate and self-abandonment as a short-term fix can avoid emotions:

• Staying in the head and thoughts, instead of feeling the body and feelings

• Short-term fixes to feel better such as drinking, sex, alcohol, drugs, sugar, shopping, or eating

• Blaming someone else to create a victimhood story instead of trusting one can handle the pain

• Armoring up and isolating so others don't see when upset

• Judging self and emotions as wrong or bad, telling myself to think "happy thoughts" 

  • Co-dependency: putting others before myself or trying to earn approval

 

The full moon is when I notice my attachment and emotional attunement patterns the most. Through studying astrology and after many years of therapy I have found patterns of self-parenting and attachment working with my moon sign (in Aries) of emotional avoidance and the asteroid Ceres (in Scorpio).

 

Here are the new ways I have learned to attune to the moon and my own emotions:

  • Have dialogues with my inner child asking what she needs

  • Taking time to cry when I feel an emotion coming up

  • Share with others when I am upset instead of heading

  • Telling people when my feelings are hurt and trusting them to handle the impact

  • Seeing a therapist or participating in group therapy to explore places that still hold unconscious pain and patterning

 

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© 2015-2019 by Rebecca M. Farrar ​

Rebecca@wildwitchwest.com

San Francisco, CA

(415) 322-7030